Tintumon - Very Funny!!!!!!

 

Dad to Tintumon: When I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintumon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintumon: I clean it with your tooth brush.
 
 
Dad: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Dad: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Dad: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what's the difference between u and a dog?
 
 
Tintumon called FM radio & said
"I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.X, No.13,Halls rd,kannur….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…
 
 
Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," tinumon said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …"
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" Tintumon finished.
 
 
Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote"Drive carefully! Don't kill the students, wait for the teachers"
 
 
Prof.: Chemical symbol of Barium?
Tintumon:BA
Prof.: For Sodium?
Tintumon:NA
Prof.: What will we get if 1 atom of Barium & 2 atoms of Sodium combines?
Tintumon:"BANANA"

The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
“There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning,Wouldn’t it be better to hear one at a time?”
Tintumon shouted, “Okay – you start.”

Teacher: Imagine u r a millionaire. Write ur life history.
Tintumon didn’t write.
Teacher: why are you not writing?
Tintumon : I’m waiting 4 my secretary 2 take notes….

 
 
PASSIVE VOICE
teacher: Write the passive voice of " I made a mistake"
Tintumon: " I was made by a mistake"
 
 
PROFESSOR 
A professor to tintumon: "what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?"
Tintumon: "JIMBALAKDI PAMBA"
professor: "I don’t understand anything"
Tintumon: "same 2 you"
 
 
PTA Meeting
Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow…..
Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?
Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !
 
 
Techy Tintumon
Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!

A day spent without laughter is a day wasted.

NASA predictions... INFORMATIVE...!!

NASA predicts Worldwide Holiday On 21 December 2012 As the world is scheduled to end   The second photo is terrible .....  Scroll down to see the Result of the Collision ...  .......   ......   .....   ......   ......   ...... ForwardSourceID:NT00000EC6   Don't miss the third photo of how the world could be saved    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -   -  --- -- -- -- ---  -  --- -- -- -   Mind it   So.........................Don't worry… Be happy....

Funny cartoons.....( Just Laugh )

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Stupid Questions N Perfect Answers!

Are you chewing gum?

"No, I'm John Smith."



"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."

"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"



"What are you going to be when you graduate?"

"An old man"



"I spent three years in college taking medicine."

"Are you well now?"



"Do you say a prayer before you eat?"

"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."


"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."

"Who wants to eat friends?"



"We are having mother for dinner, darling."

"Make sure she's well done."



"I want some rat poison."

"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"



"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."

"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."



"May I hold your hand?"

"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."



"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"

"No, sir, only when it rains."



"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"

"Why? Is it tilted?"



"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"

"No, you'll have to walk"



"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"

"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."



"I have changed my mind."

"Thank heavens! Does it work better now?"



"Would you like your coffee black?"

"What other colors do you have

Top 20 funny quotes

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
[5] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[6] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
[7] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[8] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[9] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[10] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
[11] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
[12] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[13] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[14] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
[15] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[16] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
[17] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
[18] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
[19] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
[20] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Nice Quotes -- Thoughts

1) Somebody asked God,'i want peace'. God replied, 'remove that 'i' as that is ego,remove that 'want' ,that is desire. And peace will be automatically there.

2) THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:- "Never make the same mistake twice ,there are so many new ones to make...Good day!

3) The four Blessed Looks: Look back and Thank God. Look forward and Trust God. Look around and Serve God. Look within and Find God!

4) A LOVER says,'i' will be with u in all your troubles " but A GOOD FRIEND says, 'u' will have no trouble when i am with u " & thats Me.

5) To live this LIFE i need HEARTBEAT , to need HEARTBEAT i need HEART, to need HEART i need HAPPINESS , to need HAPPINESS i need a FRIEND like u.

6) If hardwork is yours,  then success is yours. If love is yours, then life is yours, if confidence is yours, then the world is yours.

7) It's hard at times to keep in touch with those who really mean so much, but side by side or far apart, a friend lives always inside the heart.

8) My Heart's Like an open Book, it Depends on how u Read Me. Don"t judge Me by My Cover..Look in and Discover.. I m True Friend For Ever.

9) Sweet is ur Memory Dear is ur Name Close 2 my Heart U always remain I met u as a stranger n took u as a friend Hope our Frienship Never Ends.

10)                                             

LOVE Says..I LOVE YOU.

CRUSH Says..I LIKE YOU.
 
HUG Says..I WANT YOU.

SMILE Says..I ADORE YOU.

But FRIENDSHIP Says..I-CARE 4u

"It takes a minute to have a crush an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone" Be in touch..

Touch Your Heart

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-FINALLY TOP SECRET REVEALED

BEHIND SUCCESS OF YUVRAJ AND TEAM INDIA -

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-గచ్చిబౌలి దివాకర్ అనకాపల్లి  టీం లో  14th ప్లేయర్   మ్యాచ్ రికార్డ్స్-

GACCHIBOWLI DIWAKAR (LIVING LEGEND)

-దివాకర్ గారు సెమీస్ లో పాక్ పై మమ్మల్ని గెలిపించాడని ఎంత  ప్రాక్టీస్ చేసారో మాటల్లో చెప్పలేను-

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 ప్రాక్టీసు లో దివాకర్ గారు ఎన్నో గాయాలకు గురి అయ్యారు. అది తలచుకుంటేనే చాల బాధగా ఉంది. -

Ohhhhhhhhhhh ……… God

                                          మేము ఆయన నుంచి ఎన్నో బ్యాటింగ్ మెళకువలు నేర్చుకున్నాం.  -

  దివాకర్ గారి లో ఉన్న ఫైర్ నా బ్యాటింగ్ లో కనబడుతుంది.   -

మేము తీసే ప్రతీ వికెట్ ఆయన చేసిన కృషి ఫలితమే-

Out…….. out………. Out I say -

నేను మ్యాచ్ లో వత్తిడికి లోనైనప్పుడు దివాకర్ గారి కల్మషం లేని మొహాన్ని గుర్తుచేసు-కుంటాను అదే నా విజయ రహస్యం.  

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I don’t know how boys are crazy about me .They praised me a lot. My boys did wonderful job in world cup.

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ఇండియా టీం వెనుక నేను ఉన్నానని నా పేరు బయటికి రానీకుండా ఈ మీడియా వాళ్ళు తొక్కేసారమ్మ టాలెంట్ మొత్తం తొక్కేసారు.-

-రండి! బోయ్స్ అండ్ గాళ్స్ నాతో చేతులు కలపండి. మీరు నాలా enjoy cheyandi....! -

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Funny Riddles

Q. If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it?
A. A secret.
Q. The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
A. Darkness
Q. What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it? You can’t buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.
A. A telephone book.
Q. What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?
A. A chalkboard
Q. What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?
A. The year 1961 can be read upside down and that won’t happen again until 6009!
Q. What has no beginning, end, or middle?
A. A doughnut.
Q. What has to be broken before it can be used?
A. An egg.
Q. What does no man want, yet no man wants to lose?
A. Work – Employment
Q. How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
A. Only one, the last one.
Q. What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?
A. Your mind.
Q. Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can’t fill it up. What is it?
A. A kitchen strainer.
Q. What goes up and never comes down?
A. Your age.
Q. What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?
A. To cover cows.
Q. What’s long and thin, covered in skin; red in parts, and put in tarts?
A. Rhubarb.
Q. What has feet and legs, and nothing else?
A. Stockings
Q. What is the moon worth?
A. $1, because it has 4 quarters.
Q. What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
A. A candle.
Q. What stays where it is when it goes off?
A. An alarm clock
Q. You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, ’til you call me again. What am I?
A. An echo
Q. There is a man standing over a dead body in a coffin, and another man walks in and asks, who’s in the coffin. The first man replies, brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man’s father is my fathers son. Who’s in the coffin?
A. His son